Power Moves e-bog

Meet Karl Welzein, aka Captain Karl, aka @DadBoner on Twitterthe Midwests most beautiful loserKarl Welzein is really lookin forward to the weekend, you guys.His job is a drag and his wife kicked him out, but thats okay. She wears granny panties and is constantly dropping wads of cash at Target, and his son cries all the time. Now his temporary roommate, Dave, ate all the Totinos pizza rolls. Again. Karl Welzein is sick of this. So sick of this.Power Moves chronicles the hilarious decline of Karl Welzein on his journey from life as a Dockers-and-golfshirt-wearing dad to a ponytailed party maniac who spits out his life philosophies like a modern-day Charles Bukowski (if he preferred to get drunk at Applebees).A middle-aged Michigan native, Karl may be overweight, prone to questionable fashion and culinary choices, oblivious to his drinking problem, a poor excuse for an employee, obsessed with the restroom, and a terrible husband, father, and friend . . . but in his heart he means well. Hes just like a lot of ushe loves the USA, Guy Fieri, bold flavors, Bob Seger, and thinking he looks jacked in a tight tee and Maui Jim sunglasses. Karl is an everyman and like no other man on the planet all at once.Inspired by the Twitter feed @DadBoner, Karl finally tells his full story. He shares his wisdom on fitness (1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do shups til you look like Stone Cold. 3. Cut off your sleeves), diet (Eat only the filling of the Taco Bell Beefy Melts for maximum flavor and low-carb health), fashion (Wearin boots with jean shorts says I like to keep cool, but Im ready if the action gets hot), work life (If you dont have a job that makes you want to kill yourself, you dont deserve to drink until you want to die), and the bliss of the perfect weekend (beers, brats, and babes chest beefers).But above all, this is a story about Americathe real red, white, and blue America of today. Welcome to Karls world. Reading this book is the ultimate Power Move.