Diary of Jean Evarts, 1912 e-bog

Whilst the greatest effort has been made to ensure the quality of this text, due to the historical nature of this content, in some rare cases there may be minor issues with legibility. In these last days the world about me has echoed the voices that I hear so constantly within. Sometimes they whisper patience, and bid me hope that the storms which have beaten down my soul in this experience called life shall rage in vain against that portal through which I go. Sometimes they ring through my soul with the wild clamor of huge bells, and stir my confused thought into fierce protests against the laws that foreordained me to misery and death. Again, they sink into whispered temptations to destroy my life, and end at once the confusion and pain. But I dare not do this - weakness has sapped my courage - and I could not know that in killing the body I had destroyed the Self. How the awful thoughts of Self beat upon my tortured soul when the storms of temptation are raging! This Self that I have found here, cast into the world without my knowledge or consent, emerging from utter darkness, only to sink again into darkness just as profound and mysterious!