Hissy Fitz e-bog

Hissy Fitz lives with some two-legged creatures who are destined to serve him in every possible way and understand his every whim. Sadly, these creatures are sorely lacking in their skills. For one thing-they touch him when they want to touch him. Don't they know that the two-legged are there for him to touch when he wants to-meaning when he wants food? Petting wakes him up! They speak to him-don't they know the two-legged should be seen (so Hissy knows where to demand food from) and not heard?! It's becoming intolerable. What is this irascible cat to do?